Talking to Myself is a Full-Time Job (And Talking to Y'all is Overtime!

Intrapersonal communication is just me vs. me, and interpersonal communication is me vs. the rest of the world. And honestly? Both of them are dramatic.

This is where my inner voice lives. She’s bossy, she’s loud, and she’s shaped by the culture. At the same time I hear my grandmother’s voice reminding me to “make good choices,” I also hear my community pushing me to be strong, and sometimes aI hear a little Lil’ Kim in the background like, “No time for broke thinking.”

One moment that sticks with me is my grandmother always asking, “What could you have done differently for the outcome to be different?” That simple question is cultural training, and it taught me to replay situations in my head and talk myself through accountability, even when it stung. That’s why my self talk today is half cheerleader, half drill sergeant with both hyping me up and calling me out.

It’s dramatic, but it’s necessary. My self talk is my private coach, therapist, and sometimes my shady best friend. Without it, I’d probably say way too much out loud or buy way too many things I don’t need at 2AM.

Me vs. The World (Interpersonal)

Now, when it comes to other people? That’s interpersonal communication, and that’s a whole different soap opera.

With my daughter, I’m the “loving but don’t play with me” mom voice. With my friends, I’m loud, funny, and occasionally raunchy. With professors and supervisors, I turn into the most professional version of myself like a LinkedIn profile came to life. And with my audience? That’s the Lauren remix: bold, layered, and straight to the point, with just enough smart ass-ness to keep it interesting.

One clear example is with my boss. There have been too many times when my head was screaming the unfiltered truth, but my mouth had to deliver the strategic version. In those moments, interpersonal communication meant knowing how to filter myself. Not because I didn’t feel strongly, but because the culture taught me survival requires knowing how to adapt my voice to the spaces I’m in. That balance between what I think and what I say is where knowledge really shows up.

People call it code-switching. I call it knowing how to survive in different rooms. Black culture taught me that not every voice works everywhere. The way I talk at a family cookout is not the way I present in class. And honestly? That’s a skill.

I do wish I could scream this from the mountain tops though!

The Tag Team

Here’s where the drama comes full circle: my “me vs. me” always influences my “me vs. the world.” If I hype myself up in the mirror, you’d feel that confidence when I walk in the room. If I dragged myself for procrastinating, you might catch me overly apologizing for being late.

It works the other way, too. When my community hypes me up, that energy sneaks into my inner voice. When people respect my words, I start respecting my own ideas more. It’s all connected.

Final Scene

So yeaaaa, talking to myself is a full time job, and talking to y’all is the overtime. But both matter. My inner dialogue keeps me accountable, while my outer dialogue helps me build connections. And both are shaped by culture: the rules, the voices, the music, the side eyes all taught me how to communicate in the first place.

Me vs. me.

Me vs. the world.

Two shows, one star.

And both are dramatic.